Tuesday, March 29, 2011


 The decision to make action from thoughts and turn them into a journey with a destination is a pretty straight forward process. Not all can see this process or they see this process from such extreme views that one can not really know pure truth without some hint of faith. If I knew it all then I could proclaim true or false answers to all of my strange internal inquiries. Simo Hayha a Finish sniper died April 1, 2002 with the honor of having the most sniper kills in history. (505 kills if your curiosity is chewing up your attention span) When asked how he became so successful he simply answered "practice" and when asked if he felt regret for the number of people he killed he answered: "I did what I was told as well as I could".  From different perspectives he is a hero, murderer, follower, villain,  killer, father, servant, son, mercenary, husband, anti-Christ. How would this blog post look if I inserted the name Al Sharpton into the blog and brought forth his humanitarian efforts as well as his relationship with the IRS? The perspective would come from the same direction with similar or the same labels.  Or not. Oh crap! Jersey Shore's on, I gotta go!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A moment in time....

Life happens really fast for me. Even the slow mundane events of a midweek approach at a speed much faster than I can usually handle. I sometimes dread the after school homework grind with the kids or the predictable drudgery of feeding the dog or checking the mail. I see strangers pass me by on a daily and I wonder "Who are you and what are you about?" Idaho as a whole moves about at a breakneck speed that only a snail could call slightly faster than a crawl. This is the desolate landscape of high desert living as I was seeing it earlier this week.

I was sitting at a red light watching a 60 something grandma in leopard print suck on a Virginia Slim (with the suction power that would impress any Hoover or Kirby within 100 miles) and a thought crossed my mind. We are all going to die someday and all of this won't matter. I want to tell you what the Diva Granny's vanity plate said so badly I can't hardly focus to finish this stupid blog post! But, to spare her anonymity and preserve my integrity or a slander suit I will keep my mouth shut. The reason I want to spew the vanity plate message is because it gave me proof that we are all of one fabric, being, creation,  merely searching for purpose and a little money to spend in the mean time. By the way, Diva Granny busted me staring at her sucking action and gave me a displeased look of "up yours buddy!", I was waiting for the finger but she stomped on the gas and let her hissing BMW do the talking. That's when I saw the plate!

Why is it that on that day, on that street, at that time, at that precise moment I got stuck at that light and all I could do was judge this poor grandmother of some sweet child? I don't know anymore about her than I know about the guy I saw this morning heading to a job he didn't look to thrilled to have. A slow steady stream heading to a bigger and better river maybe? The odd proof that we are all swimming around in this river of sludge we call life until we earn the right to live among the big fishies in the vast ocean? Preparing for the big day when our survival is tested on a grander scale? (Is grander even a word?) I recently read about suicide forest. Yeah. You read right. Aokigahara forest in Japan. A forest near the beautiful and spiritual  Mt. Fuji where many people travel to end their life. The Japanese version of The Golden Gate bridge, some 200 unclaimed bodies are stored in surrounding communities. The total including the identified persons is much higher and the many detoured by signs and police foot patrols can never be known. All of this swirling mess of information along with Diva Granny judgments and Deftones blaring Rocket Skates from the speakers.......

Then the light turned green, I turned onto South Boulevard and I never gave it another thought until today when started to write. I'm telling you. I need to slow down this brain or invest in the manufacturing of NaSSA's, NDRI's, NRI's SSRE'd, SSRI's, SSRD's, SNRI's or NDDI's, because I know I'm not the only one who thinks and feels this way!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Lift off

In the year of silent reflection I took to unnerve my brain from the persistent flow of stimulus, I realized three years had passed. Still, here I sit with this warm translucent energy swirling around my head wondering why the compass spins out of control. Lifetimes have passed yet here the seconds creak to life with the painful urgency of fossils buried beneath the ground I travel. The sun is prepared to burn away the faded tattered remains of these memories and on I’ll go into the unknown. Not afraid or full of regrets I’ve tucked into cracks barely visible from all the previous stuffing of debris.   Whole and not entirely intact I lift my head and attempt a lift-off from this strip I’ve worked so hard to construct. Upon my ascension I will not return. 

Art work inserts: Zdzislaw Beksinski my favorite artist of all time.